The Beginning of a Long Long Journey
by NesSelene
Summary: ONE SHOT story of the beginning of Elle Cousland's journey. Find out how she struggled with her feelings the first night after her families castle had been taken over by Howe. Rated T just to be sure.


This is a ONE SHOT story for the first night of Elle Cousland's story.

"**The beginning of a Long Long Journey"**

_It's like the last day happened within a minute. It started all of the sudden and it had ended quickly as well. At least for her, she thought. She was sitting in camp, near the fire. She was so cold, and somehow her body didn't seem to warm up. Even with all the emotions running through her she had a tough time not getting ill from the cold. It's like it was struggling, like it was aware it shouldn't even be alive right now. Not after all that happened._

She had started that day early. She wanted to get some training before anyone would be awake enough to see her. Only her brother used to participate in her training every now and then, but even this morning he wasn't there. He was going to the battle field today along with father and he wanted to spend the day with his wife and son. Her daggers never missed the target that training and she was swift. She was performing how she should, she kept thinking. After a few hours of training every person at their castle was awake. While putting away her daggers she saw a messenger walking towards her. "The Teyrn asks for your presence straight away my Lady". I nodded and decided not to keep father waiting. When I walked in the room I saw him talking with Arl Howe. I was never sure what to think about him. He acted to nice, but every time I spoke to him he would make a weird remark or two, enough to let me doubt him and his intentions. He had been a close friend to father though, so I never spoke me mind about it. After a few minutes of talking, father let Duncan in. Duncan, the tall, dark skinned, mature and handsome Grey Warden. I had heard about their order, and it sounded wonderful to join them. Naturally my father wouldn't let me, he made it very clear when Duncan showed his interest in me. I couldn't help but being enthusiastic even without fathers permission. After Duncan agreed to talk to me later on when father and Fergus had left I decided to take a walk. It wasn't long until I ran into Ser Gilmore, who immediately made me fetch my hound, Dyran.

_Tears started to flow down my face. They were warm, and those who ran over my lips tasted salty. It was starting to get too cold so I took the blanket I had put next to me earlier and put it around myself. I closed my eyes._

Dyran of course messed up the kitchen which made Nan really grumpy. I'd known Nan for such a long time that I knew if I would get Dyran out of there she would forgive both him and me. Ser Gilmore left the kitchen after I had a talk with Nan. She loved to remind me of my lessons she used to teach me and she insisted I would tell a story about a hound with her. I was glad when it was finished and I quickly made my way to Fergus his room. Father had told me to let him know to leave before father as Howe's men were delayed. Halfway I saw my mother standing with our visitors. One of them was Dairren. I hadn't seen him for years so my smile was from ear to ear. He complimented me and I remember myself blushing. When his mother left to take a quick nap and Dairren and Iona left to the study my mother had a talk with me, saying how I grew up so fast and that she would leave to let me run the castle alone while everyone was gone. I was nervous about that, but I knew what had to be done so I was not too worried. During that whole conversation Dairren floated in my head though so once mother was done talking to me I made my way back to the study, with Dyran following my every lead. When I said Hello to Dairren he looked a bit startled by my presence and quickly began to talk about the books in the study. After letting him know I wasn't interested in the books, okay they were good books and belonged to my Grandfather so they meant a lot to our family, we made an arrangement where he would come to my chambers late that night. The next moment I found myself in Fergus his room. It would be so quiet and empty without him here. He always had to nag me about something and I him so naturally I would miss him a lot. When I gave him the message he had to leave before father, both my parents came walking in, leaving me to think why they couldn't have delivered this message themselves. I should have known our parents loved to see both children before they had to do something important. When Fergus left I went to my room, knowing what was awaiting me when everyone was asleep. Two hours later Dairren sneaked in the room and we had a wonderful night. He was so incredibly gentle and sweet and his body improved so much since the last time I had seen him. We were just children so you can imagine he wasn't interesting for me back then, and the skills he had! He had me worried for a couple of times that my parents would hear us.

_I was shaking, not from the cold, but from the memories. How could anyone live through what has happened? My elbows were on my legs with my hands on my face. I was feeling scared, and alone. I knew I wasn't alone as Duncan was in his tent, but I had nobody left and I didn't know where Fergus was. For all I know he was gone too. He could have died on his way to Ostagar. Dear Maker…_

It was the middle of the night and sounds had woken me and my hound up. Dyran was barking constantly and everything Dairren tried, couldn't shut him up. Something was wrong, I could feel it, as could Dyran else he wouldn't be barking that much. When he tried to put Dyran out in the hall he got shot by a guard. A guard? Why is a guard shooting down Dairren? Glad I already had put on my armor I charged in to the guards and they were down quicly. I saw more standing at my parents bedroom and I stealthed to them while taking them out. My mother quickly came out of her room, fully dressed in her armor and soon we made our way over to the treasure room. We could not leave behind our family sword and after we fought our way there, we quickly went to the front gates. Ser Gilmore was defending it with the other guards, trying not to let through the enemy. When he noticed we were there in the same room after defeating the enemy, who turned out to be Howe's guards, we pointed us in father's direction. Ser Gilmore had been a friend within the castle for all my life, and he was a kind person. I was glad I called him my friend and I was very sad he would give his life in order to defend me and my family. When I saw him running back to hold the gates a tear fell over my face for I knew I wouldn't see him again. One knight and five guards of Howe later we were standing in front of the door of the servants exit. From that point on everything seemed to slow down. I hesitantly touched the door, and prayed fathers injuries wouldn't be too bad. He could be sitting on some bags, waiting impatiently for us to arrive. He would be mad at us for taking so long, after all I was a Cousland with years of training with daggers. I would have to tell him excuses for the delay and smile and him before receiving a hug. I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.

_I was removing myself from the fire. I couldn't sit still. The memories were stirring too much in my head. The night was clear and I could see many stars in the sky. It shouldn't be like this. My feelings didn't match the way my surroundings looked. I closed the blankets around me tighter and noticed a tree overlooking the area. I walked towards it and let myself lean against the tree. I felt like daggers were stabbing my heart and I let myself fall on my knees. My face was soaked yet I felt no other tears fall. Dyran soon was at my side and licked my hand to try and comfort me._

I looked around and saw the most horrible image I could ever imagine. My own father, lying in his own blood. Where was all that blood coming from? That could never be all his. Mother and I ran over to him and kneeled down next to him. My hands wanted to search the wound that caused all that blood and close it. How a healer mage would come in lovely at this moment. I cursed the mages for staying only in their precious tower. I knew I was not making sense of course, but what else could I do? This was my father! He had a hard time talking to mother and I, it was so obvious he wouldn't make it. I even tried to convince him that I could drag him out of there, but he only joked about it saying that I should only do that if I was willing to leave behind pieces of him. Duncan walked in not long after and he didn't seem surprised at all mother and I made it to father. Where was he all this time and couldn't he stop what Howe was doing? We could stay here and defend father until we slaughtered every single guard like they've done to our family. We could take our vengeance and set traps for every single one of them who tried to come in. It would be three against the one or two who could come through the doorway. We could handle it! I felt rage taking over, but then father said Duncan should save mother and me. He agreed to that, but he needed to have something of father first. What would he want in a time like this? Couldn't this wait? We couldn't leave father behind! Why wasn't there any sense in this man? I thought he was his friend? Duncan, the Grey Warden. How could I forget he was a Grey Warden! Grey Warden always had to do their duty I had been thought. Same for the Couslands. It wasn't a surprise to me and father agreed to Duncan that I could be his recruit. Of course I thought it was an honor to join them, but how about Ser Gilmore. He could still be alive! Take him! Rescue us and take him as a recruit! Duncan told me however, that I was his first choice. After father again made it clear to me that a Cousland always does his or her duty I decided to agree. Mother and I would be free, I would join the Grey Wardens and we would search for Fergus and take our vengeance on Howe. I could have seen it coming that mother wanted to stay with father. They had lived together for such a long time, run this castle together and they would die together. She was my perfect example. They had so much love for each other, even in the end they didn't abandon their loved ones. I couldn't convince mother otherwise, she would stay and fight off every single guard who tried to come in to buy me and Duncan some time. Not to forget Dyran! He was incredibly loyal to me and I was glad to have him around. My furry little loyal friend. Not long after we heard noises of guards closing in upon us. Duncan took my arm and dragged me away. We had to run, and quickly. I remember mother calling after me that she loved me and off we were. Off to a new future. To let the world know what Howe had done. Duncan ran fast, but I could keep up with him easily. I had no chance to think about what happened anymore. We had to save ourselves first. When Duncan slowed down, panic too over my face. I looked back and saw no trace of my home. No trace of what happened. No smoke from a major fire. I couldn't believe it. I just stared in the direction of Highever with great disbelief. Duncan said we were to set up camp here.

Setting up a camp? Why not keep running all night getting to Ostagar as quickly as possible so they could capture Howe? This was all that I kept thinking. He made something to eat for the both of us. Did he steal from our larder? After we ate, Duncan went to sleep and suggested I did the same for I needed my strength. Strenght. What good did my strength do me? I found myself sitting near the fire. I was so cold and somehow my body didn't seem to warm up.


End file.
